Daisy Duke Hootchie Mama Shorts

It was Friday and she got home from work and school, her kid was at her ex’s house and she had the whole weekend to chill. She got out the beer, the herb, the candles and put on her favorite sheer diaphanous pink nighty and was in the process of going to her happy place when the sirens went off. She didn’t know what was wrong, didn’t care to even turn on the tv to see what was happening. Her attitude was, if she was going to wake up dead tomorrow, she sure as hell was going to relax tonight. So she continued to drink her beer, smoke the herb and dance down the street named oblivion. Unfortunately, the sirens continued to howl and, most upsetting, a cop with a bullhorn started going down each street booming "Evacuate your houses, This is an Evacuation". Well, it finally dawned on her that this could be serious. Then it hit her like a freight train because the herb kicked in and woke up her paranoia.
I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE started repeating itself over and over in her head. But what to take with her ? She picked up her cat, put him back down, figured he was on his own, grabbed her keys, her ciggerettes, her cellphone, her toothbrush and ran into her black patent leather pumps and out the door and into her car and drove over to her sister’s house who lived in the next county over.When she arrived at her sisters wearing her sheer diaphanous pink nighty, black patent leather pumps, with keys, ciggerettes, cellphone and toothbrush in hand, her sister was having a large outdoor BBQ party. There she was, a splendiferous sight in sheer, pink nighty, pumps, so ghetto faboulous that she walked into the party and said "Heyyyyyyyyy". Her sister grabbed her and dragged her into the house and ran her to the bedroom, opened the closet and started throwing an outfit together for her to change into. Her sister was 3 sizes smaller than her, and when she tried to talk her into putting on a pair of shorts that were, as she puts it, (and I love this phrase which is why I’m relating this story to you, gentle reader) " Daisy Duke Hootchie Mama Shorts" . Of course, she refused to change into them. She ran out of the bedroom and back to the party and continued down the road to happy oblivion in her pink nighty and black pumps despite the evacuation and the party.
Oh, it was a chemical spill in her area that caused the evacuation (she didn’t’ find out til the next day what it was) and the cat was perfectly fine when she got home.
So, should the sirens go off and the bullhorns start blaring, grab your beer, your toothbrush and other essentials you can’t live without and head for the partay, heyyyy!